2011年12月29日 星期四

電影觀後感 - 謎片應該也算電影...吧?

有個笑話如是說...

甲:呼...我剛剛幫一個女人躲避了鹹豬手攻擊。
乙:嗯?你怎麼做的?
甲:我讓自己的左手與右手交握...

這種程度的笑話該算是含蓄了。
男性對於處理自己的性衝動以及為了社會安定,當然,主要是把不到馬子、沒錢兼不想被抓,那麼謎片與五姑娘就成了最直接、經濟與效率的選擇。然而,就在剛剛,當我意外找到一個幾乎可說是謎片之海的網站並恣意對瀏覽圖片品頭論足時,雖然感到有如古代皇帝面對後宮佳麗三千般的意氣風發,卻突然有感而發...

日本女演員若來台灣發展,那工作環境應該是十分不友善的吧!
不是說日本人會因為侵華而被討厭,而是由於台灣媒體的刻意扭曲下,有些日本字詞的意思在台灣做了重大的改變或曲解。拿ACG最常出現的"[1]"、"萌"兩字就好。如今所有提出"正其意"言論的人,沒沒無聞者皆被打入了"護航派"、都是"宅男"要不就"腐女";至於那些聲名遠播的清流學者引經據典的指正,就當他們是家犬、偶爾吠吠。現在隨便去街上拉個17、8歲的小朋友,問他們這兩個字在日本的用法,他們要跟你講出個道理來,不是中、重度PTT鄉民就是Coser。

最近看了一篇網路報導,說日本為了促進募兵數,請了日本知名的女演員著軍裝拍攝一系列的雜誌封面。看看咱們台灣幹的好事,標題就直接使用"女優"。難道是不清楚、不明白、不了解這個詞在台灣就等於暗指"AV女優"嗎?隨便上網找出這篇的相關報導並閱讀一下網民的回應,含蓄的還會回應一些跟文章算得上有關聯的內容,更多則是赤裸裸就開黃腔了。

這樣看起來真的很英挺
"女優"一詞,就好好翻譯成"女演員",何苦偷這個懶?
就好像明明一句話就可以用中文講出來,你非得在裡頭插上幾個英文字似的,這是哪招?
別跟我說些"女優等於女演員是常識"之類的屁話,常識不見得通俗,要不各位到路口隨機找人問問以下幾個問題,看有多少人答得出來...
 
1. 背出一半以上的元素週期表 - 國中水準的常識
2. 簡易解釋三角函數 - 高中水準的常識
3. 92、95、98無鉛汽油分別是什麼顏色 - 生活常識
4. 以悠遊卡搭捷運轉乘公車,公車第一段票價是...? - 生活常識

總而言之,我彷彿能看到日本女演員來台灣發展的時候,周圍充滿性暗示或性雙關的有色環境,要說聽不懂、又能懂一點點,要說都懂,卻又因為語言而不確定,最後只能誤會"這就是台灣的文化特色" 。

幹!我不想承擔這種不經大腦思考而循環下來的惡種!

[1]:連結到維基百科閱讀相關說明 *中文*

電影觀後感 - 不可能的任務IV - 那女的好正啊!

話說這禮拜有點小偷閒,一則是為了修我可憐的K-r[1],一則是為了拿傳說中已經做好了的領帶;總之我的確是翹課溜到了西門町去看電影。

鬼影行動一上映,貌似就嘉言不斷,最起碼我當初網上隨便抓Blog的觀後感都是給正面評價的。看完之後也得承認,鬼影行動雖然沒有第一集那種成功塑造諜匪片緊湊和懸疑的感覺,但也比第二、三續集好太多太多了。

鬼影行動的劇情其實沒有多大的懸疑,你看不到太多諜對諜的橋段,但也不會太傷腦筋在人物關係。誠如某Blogger所提的,本次鬼影行動每到了關鍵時刻,關鍵道具就會失靈,逼得阿湯哥每每都得死幹、硬幹。例如,預告裡在帷幕大樓外攀爬用的手套、製作人皮面具的機器等等...當然,這麼一部片,不安點置入性行銷就不是美國片了,舉凡BMW概念跑車、APPLE的iPhone等都隨處可見。

不過話說,看完鬼影行動後,同學問我觀後感,除了上述的文字之外,一開始閃過腦海的,竟然是飯店裡那個女殺手的畫面。只能說,嗯!她是我的菜啊!!



出生:1985年07月01日,法國

[1]:連結到我的Blog看看它長怎樣
[2]:連結到維基百科看看她的小資料 *英文*

2011年12月14日 星期三

Translation - The Elder Scroll IV - Lord Jaren's Journal

Lord Jaren's Journal by Lord Jaren

A description of the tragic end of a brave Knight of Lainlyn
{關於一位Lainlyn勇士的悲慘結局}

I hope I have done well. I don't know. Perhaps I should tell the others. But what hope would they have then? I will have to tell Kelvyn, one day, when it is time for him to assume the lordship of the Castle. He, at least, may forgive me, as I am his father.
我希望這麼做是正確的...我不確定...也許我應該告訴其他人,但在那之後他們又會怎麼想呢? 總有一天,我會告訴Kelvyn的,在他將要就任領主之時[1]。至少,也許他會原諒我,因為我是他的父親。

I must collect my thoughts. Lord Kain returned last night, while the others were gone to the city. Thank Onsi it was only myself and Garridan -- faithful friend! I have sworn him to secrecy. He was only too happy to let me take responsibility for what we did.
我一定得統整一下自己的想法。Kain領主在昨晚回來,而其他人正好進城去了。感謝Onsi神!在場只是我和忠誠、可靠的朋友Garridan!事後我要他發誓務必保密,對於我們所做的一切將由我來承擔,他結結實實地鬆了口氣。

Later: I am more resolved than ever that the others must never find out. They must never know what Lord Kain has become, our liege lord -- we sacrificed everything for him!
稍晚,我更加確信這一切絕不能讓任何人發現;得讓它們永遠都不知道Kain領主已經轉變成了個甚麼樣的怪物...我們的領主...我們曾為他犧牲了所有的一切!

I will set it all down here, clearly, so that others may judge whether I have done right or wrong.
我會將這一切明明白白地記錄下來,讓後世來評斷我所做得是對還是錯。

When Garridan woke me to tell me that Lord Kain had arrived, I was overjoyed at first. Garridan's grim face soon warned me that all was not well, but he would not tell me what was wrong. Only that Lord Kain was accompanied by Arielle Jurard, a name to freeze the blood -- a Breton battlemage of sinister reputation in Lainlyn.
Garridan前來叫醒並通知我Kain領主已抵達時,我本來非常高興。然而Garridan嚴峻的表情透露著警訊 - 情況糟透了。他不願意告訴我到底怎麼回事,只說明了伴隨Kain領主回歸的還有Arielle JurardArielle Jurard是一名惡名昭彰的Breton戰鬥巫師,此人在Lainlyn惡名昭彰,是個光靠名號就足以令人發寒的惡人。

Lord Kain was waiting in the great hall with Arielle Jurard. He was heavily cloaked, unsurprisingly as it was a foul night, but I wondered why he had not removed it upon entering the castle.
Kain領主與Arielle Jurard待在會堂中。Kain領主被斗篷裹得秘不透風,這一點也不意外,畢竟那是個糟透了的夜晚,但我當時並不明白為何在進入城堡後還為何進入城堡後他還不脫下披風。

I greeted Lord Kain warmly, ignoring his companion for the moment, but when he spoke, it was only haltingly, and with a grating edge that I had never heard before. "Where are the others?" was all he said. Arielle Jurard quickly intervened, explaining that Lord Kain was unwell and needed a place to rest.
我滿心歡喜地向Kain領主致意並刻意忽略了他的同伴,但當他說話時既緩慢又刺耳,有如刀刃摩擦時的尖銳噪音。我從沒聽他這麼說過話。「其他人都到哪兒去了?」他只說了這句,Arielle Jurard飛快地插嘴解釋Kain的身體狀況有多糟並需要馬上進房休息。

By the time Kain was abed, I was fully alarmed. He moved like an old man, and barely spoke in my presence. He left a foul odor in his wake, and remained cloaked until I left him in my chambers. I then demanded that Arielle explain herself, which she was only too willing to do. Her story was appalling. Apparently Kain had perished in battle shortly after we left, but by her arts she had returned him to life, and now planned to gather an army of Knights to resume the war against Baron Shrike. Her eyes glittered with pride as she told me all this -- she is so far gone in madness and evil that she actually believed that I would go along with her plan to install a necromantic [sic] puppet on the throne of Lainlyn! For all Baron Shrike's cruelties, he at least is mortal and will one day pass on the rule to an heir.
在將Kain領主安置上床的過程令我感到這一切都太可疑了。他的行為舉止就如同個行將就木的老人一般緩慢、連說話都十分困難;他身上散發著難聞的氣味,並且,直到我將他安置在我自己房間後都不曾脫去那一身包裹全身的遮蔽。隨後,我立刻要求Arielle解釋這一切,這正是她所擅長的。她的說詞令人震撼。顯然在我們離開後不久,Kain便死在戰鬥中,但在Arielle的「技巧」發揮之下,她成功地復活了Kain。現在,她計劃集結一整支騎士軍隊來扳回與Shrike男爵之間的戰爭。當她訴說著這一切時,她的眼神散發著強烈的驕傲;她確實是既瘋狂又邪惡到了極致,竟然自大到錯認為我會照著她的計劃在Lainlyn寶座上安置一個巫術傀儡!Shrike伯爵雖然殘忍,最起碼他受制於血肉之軀,總有一天會倒在世代交替之下。

Somehow I was able to hide my shock from Arielle Jurard, and pretended to agree to her plan. "The other knights will need to have Lord Kain's... condition... explained to them before they see him," I told her. "Otherwise the surprise of seeing him may lead some to regrettable actions." Thinking quickly, I suggested that she tend to Lord Kain in the grotto until I had prepared the others. She agreed without suspicion -- I wonder if her mind has become disordered by her evil practices -- my performance could not have been all that convincing.
不知怎的,我能夠隱藏助自己對Arielle Jurard的震驚,並假裝答應她的計劃。「那麼我們得在其他騎士看到Kain領主之前先解釋他的...狀況...給他們聽...」我告訴她。「否則,在他們見到他之後的訝異有可能導致一些令人惋惜的舉動。」我飛快思索著,並說服她將Kain領主暫時棲身在城堡之下的石窟中,直到我說服所有人為止。她不疑有他地同意了;我猜想她也許是給成功沖昏了頭;我的說詞不可能毫無破綻。

Once they were inside, I shut them in, with Garridan's help. May Tu'whacca have mercy on Lord Kain's soul... As for Arielle Jurard, I wish nothing but endless night on her foul spirit.
當他們一下到石窟裡頭,我在Garriden的協助下封死了入口。願Tu'whacca神憐憫Kain領主的靈魂...至於Arielle Jurard,她汙穢的靈魂只配徘徊在無盡的黑暗中。

I've had workmen cover up the doorway. Only a few of the others were ever aware of that passage behind the training room -- luckily Kelvyn was not among them. I'll have to come up with some story to satisfy those who ask about the grotto -- or tell them the truth and face the consequences.
我已經讓工人們掩蓋住通往石窟的入口。只有少數人知道這條訓練室後頭的通道;幸運的是 Kelvyn不是其中的一員。我得編些謊言哄騙那些問起石窟的人們...或是告訴他們真相並承擔後果。

[1]:感謝QueenAmidala(蘋果好吃)

2011年12月13日 星期二

坐地起價,是吧?

喵的哩!

想找一條劍寬7公分的黃色或橘色素面手打領帶有這麼難?

那師傅太扯!
先前去問,小姐說一條200,自備布料算150,結果師傅一開口就是400一條...是當我盤子?

為啥我就一定得屈就粉紅色或紫色?
堂堂七尺男兒,鮮紅色是我的極限。
紫色領帶?都已經黑襯衫了我還挑深色去搭,不頭殼有問題?
長得又不是唇紅齒白花美男,粉紅色領帶?

再過一陣子,說不定又一堆人跑去找黃色和橘色領帶...

去他的潮流!
去他的賈伯斯!
去他的蘋果I系列!
潮?
潮爽的!